Seven Questions and Answers with 13 Messages (An Interview)

I’ve been a photographer for nearly 25 years. As mentioned on our About page, bringing the camera into my bedroom is something that feels as natural and sexy to me as lighting up a bunch of candles or taking out a bottle of massage oil. Making photographic mementos of my lover and our lovemaking seems as normal as making photos of any other important part of my life.

But photography and sexuality have an uneasy relationship in our society. While being sexy (in varying degrees) is often a public act, sex itself is mostly a very private act. Photography can make the private public, with or without the consent of the subjects, and with or without the consent of the viewers. That one-to-one analogy that makes photography so vivid can also make it tremendously confrontational; and while I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with being confrontational about sex, I do think that we too often see that confrontational effect as being the very essence of sexual photography.

In our “Real People, Real Life, Real Sex” series, Peggy and I have tried to present a view of cinema and sex that is less rooted in confrontation and transgression, while maintaining a sense of erotic urgency. We’ve tried to present sexual joy as a part of a rich, wholesome life. Here at CameraPlayForCouples.com we’d like to continue that exploration by presenting photographing sexual joy as a part of rich, wholesome life as well.

One of the ways that we’re going to do that is by sharing the technical and conceptual knowledge that Peggy and I have acquired in the nearly 40 years we collectively spent exploring sex in a photographic context, but re-shaped for today’s everyday digital image-making tools. The other thing we’re going to do, is highlight people who are making photographs and enjoying photography in their relationships in ways that we think illustrate and expand upon our ideas.

Mine!

13 Messages is a camera-play blog maintained by the male half of a married couple, mostly photos of him, with occasional photos of his wife or the two of them together (as above.) Photos range from plainly-voiced documents to moody fragments. 13 Messages is an anonymous blog; their faces are never shown. Between images  and copy, the overall tone of the blog is grown-up, playful, with just a hint of wistfulness.

 I called out 13 Messages in my second post, This is What I’m Talking About! because I love, Love, LOVE the above image. This image gets at the very essence of what we want to celebrate here at CameraPlayForCouples.com. It’s sexy, connected, playful, and thoughtful. It’s artful and spontaneous. It is erotic without being confrontational. It’s defiant and it’s sweet.

After I made that first post, I sent a note asking if they would like to be interviewed for CameraPlayForCouples.com. I’m delighted they said yes!

1) How old are you? Are there any other particulars of your life that you would like CameraPlayForCouples.com readers to know about you?

I’m 39 and she’s 37.

2) When did you start taking pictures of yourself? What prompted you?

I started after I bought my first digital camera in 2002. I didn’t start taking nude or semi-nude pictures of myself, however, until I discovered Half-Nekkid Thursdays at Osbasso’s blog.

3) You wife makes occasional appearance on your blog. Did/does she have any concerns about your self-portraiture? What did you talk about before putting pictures of yourself online?

She has the usual concerns that most folks do. We just hope that we can continue to have the fun that taking and sharing pictures gives us without it affecting our professional or family lives in a negative way.

4) Do you have rules or guidelines for the images you make, or for the images you put online?

So far, we just try to keep our faces unseen. Beyond that, we don’t really put a lot of thought or rules into the process.

5) I love love love the “Mine!’ image. Can you tell us the genesis of that image, both conceptually and practical realities of pulling it together.

We had bought some body paint earlier in the week and found the Wet Paint sign that I thought we’d be able to incorporate some way into a photo shoot. As for her writing “Mine!” on my back, that was a last minute idea that we both got a kick out of.

6) Have you thought about what you would say or do if you were “outed”?

We’d run, we’d hide, we’d probably delete the blog. Of course, it’s fun so we’d probably start back up again soon after.

7) Do you feel like you’ve learned anything or given voice to anything through the process of photographing yourself and your wife?  What advice would you give, either technical or philosophical, to someone who wants to turn the camera on themselves?

While I don’t feel like I’m doing anything at a level where I can give advice to others, I will say that my wife and I feel that our marriage has benefited by our semi-weekly photo shoots. Even though life keeps us busy and exhausted (three kids and two relatively low wage jobs between us), taking pictures of our nude or semi-nude bodies does something to keep the sexual interest alive. Not only does it give us that time to really remind us that we desire one another, but posting the pictures on the blog and getting positive comments reminds us that we are desirable to others. That, of course, keeps the self-esteem at a healthy level.

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